my eyes. ((:

annual awards day is awkward & comforting in some-sort
of weird way. i woke up that morning,quite late but i still
slacked around even though i know i have to get going.
its already 2. and i still havent bathed. and school
starts at 3.35.

asked mum to send me. i wore my stupid pe shirt
with a stupid brown splotchy stain that wouldnt come off.
i dont even know how the stain got there in the first place.
arsehole stain. & its right,SMACK! in the middle of my shirt,
between my 'stuffs'. which-is totally obvious. :(

i arrived just in the nick of time.
saw hols,li & the rest of my choir friends.
joined them. we hung around. i,
as usual made a beeline for the toilet
and started applying my make up
already. i feel complete with them.
then went up to AVA room.
rush. rush. rush. take gown,
went back to toilet and changed.

honestly,i think the gown looks
muuch better without the organza-layer-thingy.
it makes the gown tacky.
but i guess wearing only the inside gown
would look 'indecent' or other lamesyitty.
and the gold colour is really pissing me off.
i prefer cream. or black. but gold?


then i plastered summore makeup
on my face. weee. loovvee.
" jannah happy la,can put so much make up! "
thats what mrs ho remarked. i just
grinned. yes,yes! im happy!

then we went downstairs to get our food and eat.
we have to go the 'dnt room' way coz the
camteen is blocked or something. the worst part is,
we have to pass through the house contigents.

gawd i can feel my face burning up. i could feel their eyes
digging on my back,watching my every move. i feel like dying.
i just tried to walk nonchalantly,like being in choir is the most
coolest shit that ever happened to me. NORT.

we got to the dnt room (without a major nervous breakdown,thank you very much.)
the food looks weird. tastes weird. or i just made my brain think
it tastes weird because it looks weird. so maybe its not weird at all though.
i ate the stone-hard chicken half heartedly and nibbled at the potato.
i like potatoes,only this doesnt taste potato-ey. i ate 1/2 of the rice.
awnd then i threw the thing away. they gave us NEWater. im okay
with it but its like,we know the origins of that thing so its kind of weird to
actually consume it.

we went canteen then for a sound check.
the humidity and hotness practically stung. i could
feel warm heavy air pressing on me. i sweated like there's
rain on my head. when i sweat,i really
sweat i betcha. & the MF-ing organza didnt help either.
it prickled underneath my armpits. itches uncomfortably.
i kept pulling the sleeves down so they wouldnt touch my skin.
but its like asking mr loke to shut up when
he's in his full speech mood. USELSS.
miraculously,the whole ordeal came to an end
we went back up to the AVA room. (aaaahhh. aircon.)
the performance. is humiliating. but forgettable.

pixie.

im just restless & tired. so im mixed up.

now already 1am. still wide awake!(kind of.)
tomorrow got annual awards
day at school. woots!
hellooo jiv. :D happyhappy.
but i'll have to perform in
stoopid choir gown.hope
i dont have to clip my hair up.
i'll look like some living incarnate
of frankestein. have i told you
that my face looks like a peanut?
seriously it does. & i hate,hate HATE it.
peanut-y jannah. ASS. its been
a long time since i wrote
in my spiral diary. probably because
the same things happen every day i guess.
my life is so mundane. oh well, if god
wants to torture me this way.

oohhh yaahs.
outing on mon. youthday;so got
hols. liyana,fat creep,jiv (:
& me will be jalaning.
dont know where. maybe
near boring places,but at LEAST
jiv's there. he's so adorable,
i could kill him. sharp nose.
melty2 smile. big,niiccee eyes.
but he's friggin' skinny. like
those kind of underweight skinny.
nahh. not everyone's a total hunkie
riight. & at least he has a DIMPLE.
a cute,cute one. eeee!! (grins)
i touched it once-more like hurt him,
cause i kinda scratched it. im rough
without meaning to be. i cant
help it! seriously.

we kept bumping into
my old school friends.
MUE! i saw her and went
"gaaahhh!,mue!!"
in front of everyone in the
interchange. i hugged her
and spun her around. xD
miss her. miss her. miss herr.
my friends kept glancing little looks
at him,asking whether we're 'IT' or not.
& im like: "i dunnoe.." coz i REALLY
dont know. i've been waiting for
his answer for a week i think.
but he says im lucky cause he usually
needs 2 months to think about
alifah's sound. yeahh. whoa.
well,fer me,i guess maybe
i'll get it next weeek.
please,PLEASE say yes jiffy.
& i'll die happy.

pixie.

too cool for school. (:

i swear i hate myself.
for sucking at maths.
i mean,im just NOT maths.
i'll never get it-ever.
i just got that nagging feeling.
dang,dang,dang.
wish i am a better person at times.

pixie.

im happy.

going home was a BLAST.
i cant believe its that
easy to talk.
i thought it would be hard
to make a conversation
with someone i practically
just knew. & he made
me laugh. which is LOVE. ((:
its just a pity so called 'beloved sister'
must spoil it all. but forget it.
& the smile. it makes me
warm all over. seriously,
im infatuated.

pixie.