you turn my broken smiles around.

he went to the hospital.
tripped while he was running
and landed smack on a goalpost. (haha!)
he fractured his beautiful arm.
and needs to wear a beautiful cast which
i decorated with hearts & rainbows & flowers. ((:
he's angry for making him look like a sissy. lol!
but he loves me for that.

stoopid umyrah,took
up the centre of the cast. so its like a big flashing,
screaming:UMYRAH!! in the middle. grrr.
i wrote in red just below her,but i cant seem
to make mine more obvious than her. i mean,heyy!
where's the special VIP girlfriend of jiv treatment?

he finally,FINALLY had top-up his pp8 so yeayy.
he;s playing with hiss crapshytt comp & so he msg me
like,his eyes still glued to the comp. i know,i can feel it.
oh heck care lorhh.

we then went mac to meet martin. he gives me
the shivers like kris gives me the creepies. brrr.
he kept staring. seriously,he doesnt know how
to be,ermm,more unoticeable? jiv kept giving
me his ohsohawtt glances. yummy. played:
"feet under the table". wehooo. hawthawthawt.
but the goodbye is kind of spontaneous,which i hate
but he did say those 3 words so it aint a biggie. (:

OH I LOVELOVE YOU MY hawt BELO!~

i realised everything's about YOU.

sweaty palms and feet?
never mind.
to me,you're perfect.

~eiffel im in love.

pixie.

butterflies in my stomache. undescribable happiness. *grins*

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg
omg omg omg omg omg omg omg
omg omg omg omg omg omg omg
omg omg omg omg omg omg omg
omg omg omg omg omg omg omfg!

im just way too giddy.
im trying to imagine
the time we'll have. ((=
together. me & jiv.

pixie.
happyhappy.

you know im doing this all for you.

today sucks but it doesnt suck that bad.
its a sucky but hilarious day.
i've never laughed that bad before
all month,man.& the funny things kept crashing
down,one after another. GAWD. i can die of
muscle cramps from laughing too much.
the 1st part is when me & rash we're like: "ape?
nk carik psl kepe? sini ah,sini ah! " kind of thing.
then i grinned and said: "ape? ape? paddlepop ah!"
and we just cracked up. & shana was like: " tibe2 paddlepop! "
well. its friggin funny,believe me. if you were there to
see it for yourself.

what makes my day super sucky is,maths. why of course!
one of the rare things that made me all 'emo-ish'.
mrs tan is really,really torturing my life.
stop picking on me wouldcha?

*sighs* im a stupid,idiotic lovesick puppy.
i'll wait. i'll smile. & pretend im not tired of it.
because love is about sacrifices. & really,i will
sacrifice. and i'll stretch limits if i have to. i'll try. (:
seriously,from now on i'll stay true. and for the
first time,im contented with what i have right now.

today we have dumb enrichment classes.
& dumber science wkshop. i slept at the beginning :p
and they aint notice. & i got drool all over my wkbook. haahhs!
its dang boring (like all enrichment classes.) & the teachers
are weird and lame. one teacher has a humongous butt
area,and another likes to laugh for no particular reason.
so,welcome to the RETARD club ptd.

and because of the MF-in enrich. class,i cant go back with
rj. dang dang. but its okay! there's tomorrow! ^ ^
i've never lost hope really in this 'ILY!' charade thing.
actually.

pixie.
((:

REHAB.

i'd die if he doesnt give out the answer soon.
i'll pain & hurt throughout.
i'll murder anyone who tries to steal him away.

*whatever it takes.

pixie.
in distress.

let's try and use colours!

*past post.
cant seem to complete it
on time. so here we go.

tomorrow's school.
& there's no maths!
will do graph hw at li's maybe.
if parents let me. *sighs*
oohh. ILY,ILY. :))



milkrun.
i didnt expect it to be fun.
& i didnt expect it to be not fun either.
so i guess i got my predictions correct
-for once. hahs.

i sat with danah at the bus.
we're noisy at first,with the
whole batch of 2ea behind.
& wyn with his utterly unbelievable
jokes which made us crack anyway.
but then maybe we're all out
of them jokes or something so we kept
quiet and just sat with our butts planted firmly
on our seats. i wanted to borrow someone's
ipod but (suprise,suprise) theyre using it.
so i just half slept and half looked outside the window.

i didnt quite know what happened next but the nest

thing i knew,the class is whoopy again. now,

i really looked at the view. singapore's a typical island.

the usual things we could find. its more,manmade.
like,its not there at first but somebody from
the government built it,kind of like that.
we finally reached the place near zouk.
we walked there. typical typical typical!
the place is packed with sweaty people.
its really loud,with trumpeting and drumming
and cheers infront of zouk. i didnt even know it

was zouk coz it lookes soo..small.
me & danah walked around. we were seperated
from the rest and we didnt realise it at first.
but heck care. we walked around,che-che-checkin it out.
hot,humid and lame. DJs-dan & yang from 987fm were jabbering but
i cant see them. its irritating. them screeching,and we not seeing them.
& the food there is so expensive,you wouldnt believe it.
we went in and out the same hotel three times. just for the toilet.
we dont have anywhere else to go.

the run is auite tiring but not
torturing coz we didnt run. me,shana & desi
walked 4km so its no big deal. we checked out the sights.
the city part of singapore is soo cool. :D chic.
like they have their own themes. one is like,eclectic funky.
imagine: brightly coloured furniture. contrasting but cool.
& bali-like resort kind of theme. imagine: calm atmosphere,
mother nature and those kind of tribal statues. my dig
is the posh,western kind. imagine: french cafes.

after the run,we got free drinks that are SO not
refreshing coz theyre not cold. i despise drinks that
are supposed to be ice cold but are served lukewarm. really. gets on my nerves.
shaun got 1st,ashe predicted. & as i expected. duh! its NON-competetive
you idiootss. no wonder he got 1st. bleahbleah.

we got goodiebags! haha. i am the normal kiasu. :)
its kinda lame lah. there's instant oatmeal (really.)
& milk and wheat crackers, health freak stuff.
but i like the $50 jean yip discount voucher. means
i can straighten!! yeayyy.

we went home. at last. im practically
scorching under the merciless "Mr. Sun".
we were beat;but still chatty.
milkrun sucks.

& i feel like tearing the world apart.

is it possible to dislike your own
kin? i think it is. sometimes,i think
i love them only because they are
my family. i mean,you cant pick
who you want to have as your own flesh
and blood do you? so you have no choice
but to stick around with them for your
entire life on this planet. yes. i do
love them but they do get on my
nerves at times. i cant even go out with
a a friend,for god sake. come on. im 14.
and i havent went out for a friggin 2 months.
then they'll start giving excuses. i just
hate them when they start acting like that.
and the vulgar language. at least i dont
spew words to other people. kolot.

bored bored boredom.

mathafcknshyit.
i cant go out.
i cant go out.
i cant go out.
i cant go out.
rarrhh. grr. grr.
can i strangle someone?

my eyes. ((:

annual awards day is awkward & comforting in some-sort
of weird way. i woke up that morning,quite late but i still
slacked around even though i know i have to get going.
its already 2. and i still havent bathed. and school
starts at 3.35.

asked mum to send me. i wore my stupid pe shirt
with a stupid brown splotchy stain that wouldnt come off.
i dont even know how the stain got there in the first place.
arsehole stain. & its right,SMACK! in the middle of my shirt,
between my 'stuffs'. which-is totally obvious. :(

i arrived just in the nick of time.
saw hols,li & the rest of my choir friends.
joined them. we hung around. i,
as usual made a beeline for the toilet
and started applying my make up
already. i feel complete with them.
then went up to AVA room.
rush. rush. rush. take gown,
went back to toilet and changed.

honestly,i think the gown looks
muuch better without the organza-layer-thingy.
it makes the gown tacky.
but i guess wearing only the inside gown
would look 'indecent' or other lamesyitty.
and the gold colour is really pissing me off.
i prefer cream. or black. but gold?


then i plastered summore makeup
on my face. weee. loovvee.
" jannah happy la,can put so much make up! "
thats what mrs ho remarked. i just
grinned. yes,yes! im happy!

then we went downstairs to get our food and eat.
we have to go the 'dnt room' way coz the
camteen is blocked or something. the worst part is,
we have to pass through the house contigents.

gawd i can feel my face burning up. i could feel their eyes
digging on my back,watching my every move. i feel like dying.
i just tried to walk nonchalantly,like being in choir is the most
coolest shit that ever happened to me. NORT.

we got to the dnt room (without a major nervous breakdown,thank you very much.)
the food looks weird. tastes weird. or i just made my brain think
it tastes weird because it looks weird. so maybe its not weird at all though.
i ate the stone-hard chicken half heartedly and nibbled at the potato.
i like potatoes,only this doesnt taste potato-ey. i ate 1/2 of the rice.
awnd then i threw the thing away. they gave us NEWater. im okay
with it but its like,we know the origins of that thing so its kind of weird to
actually consume it.

we went canteen then for a sound check.
the humidity and hotness practically stung. i could
feel warm heavy air pressing on me. i sweated like there's
rain on my head. when i sweat,i really
sweat i betcha. & the MF-ing organza didnt help either.
it prickled underneath my armpits. itches uncomfortably.
i kept pulling the sleeves down so they wouldnt touch my skin.
but its like asking mr loke to shut up when
he's in his full speech mood. USELSS.
miraculously,the whole ordeal came to an end
we went back up to the AVA room. (aaaahhh. aircon.)
the performance. is humiliating. but forgettable.

pixie.

im just restless & tired. so im mixed up.

now already 1am. still wide awake!(kind of.)
tomorrow got annual awards
day at school. woots!
hellooo jiv. :D happyhappy.
but i'll have to perform in
stoopid choir gown.hope
i dont have to clip my hair up.
i'll look like some living incarnate
of frankestein. have i told you
that my face looks like a peanut?
seriously it does. & i hate,hate HATE it.
peanut-y jannah. ASS. its been
a long time since i wrote
in my spiral diary. probably because
the same things happen every day i guess.
my life is so mundane. oh well, if god
wants to torture me this way.

oohhh yaahs.
outing on mon. youthday;so got
hols. liyana,fat creep,jiv (:
& me will be jalaning.
dont know where. maybe
near boring places,but at LEAST
jiv's there. he's so adorable,
i could kill him. sharp nose.
melty2 smile. big,niiccee eyes.
but he's friggin' skinny. like
those kind of underweight skinny.
nahh. not everyone's a total hunkie
riight. & at least he has a DIMPLE.
a cute,cute one. eeee!! (grins)
i touched it once-more like hurt him,
cause i kinda scratched it. im rough
without meaning to be. i cant
help it! seriously.

we kept bumping into
my old school friends.
MUE! i saw her and went
"gaaahhh!,mue!!"
in front of everyone in the
interchange. i hugged her
and spun her around. xD
miss her. miss her. miss herr.
my friends kept glancing little looks
at him,asking whether we're 'IT' or not.
& im like: "i dunnoe.." coz i REALLY
dont know. i've been waiting for
his answer for a week i think.
but he says im lucky cause he usually
needs 2 months to think about
alifah's sound. yeahh. whoa.
well,fer me,i guess maybe
i'll get it next weeek.
please,PLEASE say yes jiffy.
& i'll die happy.

pixie.

too cool for school. (:

i swear i hate myself.
for sucking at maths.
i mean,im just NOT maths.
i'll never get it-ever.
i just got that nagging feeling.
dang,dang,dang.
wish i am a better person at times.

pixie.

im happy.

going home was a BLAST.
i cant believe its that
easy to talk.
i thought it would be hard
to make a conversation
with someone i practically
just knew. & he made
me laugh. which is LOVE. ((:
its just a pity so called 'beloved sister'
must spoil it all. but forget it.
& the smile. it makes me
warm all over. seriously,
im infatuated.

pixie.